don't know what to think;

no clue what's going on; but for now, pleasepleaseplease leave me in the dark. i'd much rather not know the truth at this point. you mean too much to me now. i'd rather be clueless than to not have you <|3

it is, indeed, that time where i should start drumming up some resolutions and think of the ones i perhaps ... forgot ;)

last year, i think it went kinda like this:
1) get closer to him [oh yes, because that went as planned]
2) lose weight [if you must know, over the course of the year, i've lost 10 lbs!]
3) love my best friends foreverandeverandever [duuuh.]
4) amazing boyfriend [mission afknccomplished]
5) think about the future [thought about it, then forgot about it]
6) livelivelive it up ! [hell to the yeaaaaah !]

so, about those new ones. i believe i have a grand total of two so far:
1) keep my amazing boyfriend as mine.
2) stop procrastinating. end of story

whatever, i still have two weeks. i'm sure i can find a billion things to fix by then :) now, if you don't mind, i've had four weeks to do a project that i'm attempting to do in one night -- maybe #2 on the aforementioned list should become #1. BAHAHAH !

goodnight&goodbye ;)
teehee;

miss (not so) charming;

i see the four week curse is turning out as it should.
EFF YOU. hahaha.

seriously? why wait to "confess" your feelings? Not that confessing would matter at this point because my heart is taken, and has been taken for a while now. if you feel something for me, tell me as soon as you figure it out; it's not like i wait for YOU in particular.

i wasn't waiting for him; in fact, i didn't even know he existed. but damn, now that it's coming along nicely, i don't know what i'd do if i didn't know he was out there.

crazy to say it, but i'm falling for him so fast ¬ thinking about a damn thing; no "what if" questions; no worries; nothing but all i got.

minor note: stay the fuck outta my life. I've done just fine without you for this long &will continue to. If you think you can just come back and things will be the same, you're fucking wrong. They're not &never will be. You had your chance, you fucked it up -- &now it's someone else's turn to undo what you did to me.

<33

mMm;

unholyunholy.
repent later ; :)

violating all my rules;

falling faster than ever before; not thinking before acting -- this is all wrong. but it feels like i don't give a damn. i'm usually very sensible when it comes to things like this; always overthinking the situation and making decisions based on my pessimistic mind -- but not this time &it feels like i'm flying at a hundred miles per hour into something i have no clue what it's all about.

and i like it.

but nothing scares me more than not thinking;
yet, it feels kinda sorta alright.

sentences of yours, are running throughout my head; searching for a chance to catch my breath <33

just one of those days, ya digg?

mMm; since i have no where to be, except high school musical 3 with my little sister a little later tonight, i guess i should update you with miles upon miles of my life.

so, this week has been filled with good days and bad days; thank goodness majority have been good days :) things seem to be looking up sometimes, &sometimes, it feels like you're the lowest of the low.
but i refuse to give in. i came into this world bloody, kicking, and screaming; &i wont leave it any other way.
hey, you get what you get, right? not every day can have a silver lining.

allow me this moment to go off on a fucking tangent: i fucking hate you; and everything about you. &dammit, i'll replace you with someone twelve times as fucking better. too many times have i made myself physically sick with the thought of you; you know why? because you insist that i believe lieslieslies.
many thanks to one of the best movies in the world: ten things i hate about you:
I Hate the way you talk to me;
And the way you cut your hair.
I Hate the way you drive my car.
I Hate it when you stare.
I Hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I Hate you so much it makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme.
I Hate the way you're always right.
I Hate it when you lie.
I Hate it when you make me laugh
Even more so when you make me cry.
I Hate it when you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I dont hate you.
Not even close.
Not even a little bit.
Not even at all.


thanks for that, friend. i just have a lot of you on my mind. a lot.


but there is some relief to it all: crushcrushcrush <33

haaaaah;
time to eat -- then taking my sister out on our dateeee;

LATER <33

fell outta love today

i'm off this ride.
for good this time; no looking back.
friends is a good place to stay for now;
maybe something when you man up -- but not now -- i need what i need, and i don't need you in that way.

kali took my phone today, just to keep me from texting a certain someone...and it worked &my day was aaaaamazing :) well, most of it.

<33 time to take notes for a rough draft paper due fridaaaay :)

baby, you don't love me anywayy;

i'mYours;

lovelovelove that song :) makes me smile like no otherrrr motherrr brotherrrr ! alright, on the phone with my cousinnnn, ciara.

we bitchin' about each and every one of you! YES, ALL YOU MEN.
:)

asdoifjdskalfjlkasdjflkjdslkjfsidfjosidafjasdoifjasdo;
dumb trick of a sister.
longer entry laaater.


mMm; good day todaaay.
you make me wanna spread my arms and fall, because i know, along the way, you'll be there to catch me

today;

i wrote him a story &+ sent it; sent my love, my heart, my feelings, my rage -- everything -- so he can feel it.

this is called closure.

&+ i'm ready to get back out there.

i'll always love him; but wont always be in love with him -- and for now, our book is on the lowest shelf, just in case i need to open it again;

because boy, if you said that you love me, i'd run to you in a heartbeat.
<33

still at school;

it's color war daaay.
GO JUNIORS.

longer entry later;

i figured out today, that i can't love you anymore, because you take everything i give -- and give nothing in return -- and oby, i can't return to that.

fknConfused;

curbing my spending habit -- goodfknLuck; got my nails did {woooot}. kinda in a bad mood.

this girl got three emotions at one time;

Dunno if i should cry;
cry because you don't believe in us half as much as i do; cry because the things you say to me don't match what you say to other people; or just cry because i have no fkn clue what you want from me.

Dunno if i should smile;
smile because you finally see something in me that i've been trying to make you see since we met; smile because everyone says that it's a match made in heaven; or smile, because it took you this long -- and i dunno if you'll be worth it.

Dunno if i should knock your lights out;
because you're a bullshitter; bitch hates me; or because i have no idea what's going on.

&+ it's sending me on a rampage.

staaay with meeee

so, no school today -- didn't get much accomplished other than ordering a boutonnieres (damn these french words) -- shit, you know, those flower things you attempt not to stab into your date's nipple? yeah, those. and bought a new hoodie. with fur in the hood. HELL TO THE YESS.

mmmm, went to the mall, and took pictures. asdfghjkl; i really went to get a little purse for saturday night -- but didn't buy jack shit. i guess i'll go with my mommy tomorrow; she tends to get things done {and pay at least half}.


favorite part of today: "are you filipino? like, you mixxed, right?"..."yeah i am"...."daaamn, girl, you got the body of a black girl and the face of an angel!"
;)


fortune cookie said: "your choices at the moment will be good ones. trust yourself." well, i made a bigbigBIG; choice today. stayinTRUE;

backtoschooltomorrow.
GAY.

yeah, gonna go do some HOMOwork. sorry if i offend you, but hey, nobody asked you to read this shit. &+ i'm in bad mood omega. too much shit on my mind;

boy, you'll be leaving on a jet plane; &+ i wont know when you'll be back again <|3

WHUDDAFXUP.

daaaamn,
leave it up to everyone else in the world to start some drama.
:)

it's okay though;
i figured out what i want, and if you don't agree with it, then i guess that's your idea.

<33

mmmm,

good daaay, considering it IS Wednesday :)

began my quest to start being nicer and less...bitchy and reserved? i guess it's okay. it's different, y'know -- talking to people, but it IS kinda nice. you're wondering what sparked this change of heart? well, i figured out that i wont talk to someone unless they talk to me first -- which usually doesn't happen, and that person probably thinks i'm really stuck up. thank you, america ferrera. i suggest you all pick up the new issue of Seventeen and read her interview. then, re-read it. :)
"...It's so empowering to make girls your friends instead of your competitors. What I've learned is, Don't waste your time judging people, because more often than not, you're off base. And you'd be shocked to know what they think about you -- where you meet someone and they're like, "I thought you were stuck up." And you're like, "What?!? I've been sitting here waiting for you to talk to me!" I really wish I had understood that in high school. You really have to give people a chance. When you stop putting labels on people, you open the door for surprise." - america ferrera.

Anywaaaay, I've also become more comfortable in my own skin. Reaaaally.

&nd I told him I was going to make him eggrolls -- the Filipino kind. THEY DON'T HAVE DOG IN THEM. I make them with my mommy -- she taught meeee.

off to do some homework.
and such.
suchsuchsuch.

GOOD FREAKING DAY.

eventfulllll ;)

EVENTFULLLL, MUCH! jeeeeez. i have no idea where to start. i guess i'll start with the fact that i have a car now :) like, it's mine. at my house! except, i have no license -- on the real. but novemberrrrr, FUCKYEAHFUCKYEAH!

i've learned to let go, and it seems like the next day, a new door swung open and gave me a real reason to smile that wasn't just a text message or a phone call.

i got a daaaaate for homecoming ;) mhmmm. can we saaaay, YAY?! &nd the only bad part are all the questions that follow. "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" No. (COMMON SENSE SAYS: if he did, he's not the kinda guy that would ask someone else.) Fucking 'tards. i also have a dress :) it's yeeeeellow. mhmmm. YELLOW. LIKE A FLOWERRR.

haha, overly giddy. school's good. LIFE'S GOOD.

errrthang good :)
off to do homeworkkkk <33
lovetolovehim.

seriouslyyy,

walking on aaaair; listening to love soooongs; laughing for no reasonnnn....
baby, baby, you got me.

goood day. late starts are always a plus :) mainly because teachers have no idea what to do with the day because apparently, ten minutes taken from their schedules are SO epic :)

algebra II was easayyyy.
spanish IV was laaaame, as always.
creative writing was the best class ever -- no work. at all ;)
us history was, well, easy.
p.e. was gooood.
american lit was so friggen easy.
human gen was kinda fun.
therefore, my day rocked (if you forget the fact that i left my phone in the same spot i left it in two weeks ago; lol).

things are finally finally looking up, to be utterly honest. ever since i decided to let go. and you can think of one or two things i may have "let go," but honestly, i've let go of EVERYTHING. because if it ain't growing with me, shiettt, i'll grow without it.

oh, if you're absolutely DYING to know: my car is a '92 Sable that's purple. PURPLE IS THE SICKEST COLOR! :) it just needs work -- oh, and a driver with a license (which will be meeee!)

attempting to keep my father away from my computer. he's used it to its limits this week. and i had to half-ass a paper for us history (does it matter if i'm getting 100% in that class?)

can i declare that i'm officially STOKED for the football game friday? a) because my best frienddddd, rio, is coming alonggg; b) asldfjladsjfas !

also, as a ending thought, i wish T.I. would come rescue me from Pizza Hell and gimme "whatever i like." ;) yeah, T.I. AND Soulja Boy! TOGETHER. mmmmm ;)

gooood life

MMMM, yeahh, boss called as I was getting ready for work and said, "It's really slow today, so I was thinking that you don't have to come in!" [yayayayay!] Meaning I'm going to bed eaaaarly tonight, this way, I can wake up feeling pretty good. (sorry late-night callers -- I'm gonna be sleeeeping for once).

As of late, everything seems to be going in my direction (if you disregard the lack of sleep and such events). I bought my xBox 360. OHHH YES I DID! Oh, and I found out that I may be getting a carrrrr. I don't even have a license. Hehe.

Still looking for a homecoming date ;) But definitely have someone in mind, who, I hope, has me in mind as well. Because I'm not about to say yes to any chump that can put on a dress shirt and call himself my "date." I do have standards.

Friday night, Rio's cominggg :) and we're gonna go hit up the game and watch some boyyys. OH. and Saturday -- dress shopping and such. such such such. with cute sailors on the premises ;)

Off to shower, then do homework, then play some xBox -- in bed by 10:30 kthnx. <33

running with the cosmic horn...

It's true, the cosmic horn has made it's return.
Bigger, badder, UGLIER.
....most of you have NO idea what I'm going on about -- good thing, too -- you might think badly of me :)
new plan of attack is kind of rocky.
it'll get better soooon.
<3333
all i want is your love; <|3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by the way, a "friend" isn't supposed to tell you that you don't have a chance with someone you like. you can defend yourself by saying you're being a good friend. BUT YOU'RE FUCKING NOT. now, it's your fucking fault that i can't confidently say what i need to say to him. YOU'RE A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG.

whoaa

two posts in one day can only mean one thinggggg. I'M FRIGGEN HAPPY AND EXCITED AND I DON'T KNOW WHYYYY! I'M FRIGGEN HAPPY AND EXCITED AND I DON'T KNOW WHYYYY! I'M FRIGGEN HAPPY AND EXCITED AND I DON'T KNOW WHYYYY! I'M FRIGGEN HAPPY AND EXCITED AND I DON'T KNOW WHYYYY! I'M FRIGGEN HAPPY AND EXCITED AND I DON'T KNOW WHYYYY! I'M FRIGGEN HAPPY AND EXCITED AND I DON'T KNOW WHYYYY! I'M FRIGGEN HAPPY AND EXCITED AND I DON'T KNOW WHYYYY! <33 asjdflkjdsalkfjsdoifvjdsafdoismoicad! omggggggz. spaaaaaazzing, all because seeing you online made my stomach drop all the way down and the killer, mutant butterflies attacked my insidessss.

gonna go watch lords of dogtown <33
ifreakingloveemilehirsch.

GAAAH

Fell asleep in human genetics. Had a dream about him; and now, the air is forever sucked outta me. I would tell you all about it, but I mean, come onnn, my lips are sealed.
My favorite part about this entire crush fiasco is that he still doesn't have a clue -___-

If i ever teach you anything,
anonymity is probably the biggest mistake of your life.

Sitting here, listening to my never-ending Ne-Yo playlist. This boy knows exactly what to say and how to say it. Why don't I?
Kali has just demanded that I stop thinking about it. Therefore, I'm not thinking about it.
Louisiana this Octoberrrr <33 style="font-style: italic;">

Watch, I'mma be back with a little ghetto country accent.
(so worth it, I need to get out of here for a minute.)

Homework to doooo <33 Gotta do it with Bow Wow blastinggg. Yeah, definitely not gonna do homework right NOW -- but I do have to finish this up :)

xoxo, Angelica

movved <3

yeah, i did, i moved blogs <3

today was a marvelous dayyy, as everyday has been since the beginning of school.
all because of himhimhim.
did i mention i have a crush on boy from my school? no more joe? ZOMG, NO MORE JOE!
oh boy, oh boy, i need you to be mine <33

have to get ready for the school's first football game ;)
get not spirited and such; i'm just not up for it tonight :(

"I won't rest until you're mine <33"
-Demi Lovato